It's been my 3rd week here in Stockholm, and my 2ndweek working at InView AB, a multimedia startup company. Unlike my expectation of NOC, life's been so slack these days. Basically go to work, go lecture sometimes, go home. Slack in the sense that I havent been required to work overnight (which I did a lot during my last summer interning @CS, coupled with 3 running CCAs).
Honestly, I dont really enjoy the situation. I prefer to get myself busy all the time because that way I feel I learn and do a lot. Here in Stockholm, I havent felt the same excitement as I had when meeting CS directors or even when I had sharing session with Suang and Ivone. Strange. I'm just scared that in no time I'll be used to this kind of slack life and lose my strive. Lose my passion to learn. Lose my motivation to excel. I. need. stimulation. and I'm being dead serious here.
After coming here, I've thought a lot that NCST doesnt suit me, as in the environment and culture here.
1. Typical swedes (or ppl say so) is relax, soft-spoken and you know, calm? whereas I kinda need people like Obama (who speaks with emotion + charismatic) to make me really listen to what they have to say. If like they're too soft spoken, Ill feel that they're not being passionate enough with what they are saying. I once read some articles that Swedes salesmen are scared of their customer? (read somewhere in ppl's blog)...hmm...I need people with more motivation to talk here...
2. Sweden is research and technology based country. Truth is, it is so NOT me (at least until now). I dont care about any technology or research being done/published/whatsoever as long as they sell welll and make money. Seriously, I think this is considered wrong in the popular belief, but whatever, it's what I believe in. Many startups here are spin off from research product (as in they invented a product and then try to sell it, not the other way around. I find that's not a so good strategy...I'll wish to have a market demand bfore I enter, even if it's not innovative at all I dont care. Seriously, why being innovative but cant sell?) All money and all must have a return.
3. They believe in equality (aka socialist), which is again "good". I have a very capitalist view on my mind. Again I dont care about what other people have to say, it's just the real me and even myself cant force my mind to think other way. I dont believe that every people should live at same living standard and feed by government. I dont believe in economic equality. What I believe is whoever works hard will eventually get the return. Why you work so hard if eventually you'll get the same result as the rest? That was bullshit. I dont like being the same with others, I enjoy being unique, I enjoy being exclusive and I wanna enjoy what I've been working hard for.
And I cant stop wondering why they pay such higher tax! around 50%. I'm working my ass off just to give my half salary to government each month, ridiculous. I'm glad I'm Indonesian, at least I'm working for myself.
4. People here are too environmentally friendly. Again, this is not me. I prefer practicality over environment. I dont want to classify my trash before throwing them, I wish waitress clean my table and I want my heater to be turned on the whole day. So what if it's not environmentally friendly?
5. I enjoy busy and fulfilling life more than relaxed and balanced life. I'll prefer working at IB until 3am if I'm learning there rather than working for ministry office and facebooking all day.
6. I prefer to work at business district with skycraper building. I mean now I'm working at university building, sometimes it feels like not going to work but for class. (nb. and i do really enjoy dressing up as business woman)
I really feel being a trapped wolf among all the sheeps haha. I mean, if you read my post I'm like the evil (I'm result-oriented, capitalist and not so environmentally friendly, err...but I really DO care about world poverty, dun ask me why, I just care).
I dont mean to insult the Swedes or what. They're really nice people seriously, very friendly, sometimes too friendly. The problem is that I'm not that nice. And I dont apply for NOC to become nice person.
Honestly, I dont really enjoy the situation. I prefer to get myself busy all the time because that way I feel I learn and do a lot. Here in Stockholm, I havent felt the same excitement as I had when meeting CS directors or even when I had sharing session with Suang and Ivone. Strange. I'm just scared that in no time I'll be used to this kind of slack life and lose my strive. Lose my passion to learn. Lose my motivation to excel. I. need. stimulation. and I'm being dead serious here.
After coming here, I've thought a lot that NCST doesnt suit me, as in the environment and culture here.
1. Typical swedes (or ppl say so) is relax, soft-spoken and you know, calm? whereas I kinda need people like Obama (who speaks with emotion + charismatic) to make me really listen to what they have to say. If like they're too soft spoken, Ill feel that they're not being passionate enough with what they are saying. I once read some articles that Swedes salesmen are scared of their customer? (read somewhere in ppl's blog)...hmm...I need people with more motivation to talk here...
2. Sweden is research and technology based country. Truth is, it is so NOT me (at least until now). I dont care about any technology or research being done/published/whatsoever as long as they sell welll and make money. Seriously, I think this is considered wrong in the popular belief, but whatever, it's what I believe in. Many startups here are spin off from research product (as in they invented a product and then try to sell it, not the other way around. I find that's not a so good strategy...I'll wish to have a market demand bfore I enter, even if it's not innovative at all I dont care. Seriously, why being innovative but cant sell?) All money and all must have a return.
3. They believe in equality (aka socialist), which is again "good". I have a very capitalist view on my mind. Again I dont care about what other people have to say, it's just the real me and even myself cant force my mind to think other way. I dont believe that every people should live at same living standard and feed by government. I dont believe in economic equality. What I believe is whoever works hard will eventually get the return. Why you work so hard if eventually you'll get the same result as the rest? That was bullshit. I dont like being the same with others, I enjoy being unique, I enjoy being exclusive and I wanna enjoy what I've been working hard for.
And I cant stop wondering why they pay such higher tax! around 50%. I'm working my ass off just to give my half salary to government each month, ridiculous. I'm glad I'm Indonesian, at least I'm working for myself.
4. People here are too environmentally friendly. Again, this is not me. I prefer practicality over environment. I dont want to classify my trash before throwing them, I wish waitress clean my table and I want my heater to be turned on the whole day. So what if it's not environmentally friendly?
5. I enjoy busy and fulfilling life more than relaxed and balanced life. I'll prefer working at IB until 3am if I'm learning there rather than working for ministry office and facebooking all day.
6. I prefer to work at business district with skycraper building. I mean now I'm working at university building, sometimes it feels like not going to work but for class. (nb. and i do really enjoy dressing up as business woman)
I really feel being a trapped wolf among all the sheeps haha. I mean, if you read my post I'm like the evil (I'm result-oriented, capitalist and not so environmentally friendly, err...but I really DO care about world poverty, dun ask me why, I just care).
I dont mean to insult the Swedes or what. They're really nice people seriously, very friendly, sometimes too friendly. The problem is that I'm not that nice. And I dont apply for NOC to become nice person.