Winteru no Kokoro

This blog is dedicated to one fren only.....it's the first time I got a fren like this. I just use "he" here la..

He's too self-centered manz, like everything we talk has to be related to him. And we have to hang arnd with people that he's comfortable with only...the hell....I also got a bunch of ppl that i'm comfy with besides u, pls dont try to limit my frens only to ur groups.

And he's too narrow minded manz, never listen to others' opinion, at least my opinion. And he also too proud of herself and always talk abt it. Pls manz, nobody will say that they're handsome or sth by themselves, they'll let ppl to say that or sth zzzz.

The worst, he alwys think that I'm the same with her, that he knows me the most. that he knows everything. Ok I'm tired. I'll limit my interaction from now on. I'll show him that we came from different class and I'll show him that I can get along with anybody. Period.

This is really2 a tough semester (and now its only week 2 T_T)...Many things popped up in my mind, besides the module, and sometimes I cannot think properly! Sh*t, it's really hard to take care all the things in your mind.

The first burden is my modules of course. I am too kiasu to take 7 modules this sem (6.5 actually coz 1 module end at week 6). And I didnt guess them to be so hard like this! 5 of all got projects! and its not just basic team project, some require individual AND team projects, 2 requires weekly submission. Damn sia, dunno whether I can bear it or not. Until now, maybe I havent lost in any module (at least I can still catch up by next week la, try!) but I'm afraid that in the subsequent week I cannot tahan then must drop one. It's quite a decision since I'm taking Double Major...so any module withdrawal this sem will affect my later semester and my perfect module plan *hahaha....lets see la...at least I'm now thinking that starting next week I'll be able to concentrate FULLY in my modules. Amin.

The second burden is the NUSSU Exco offer that suddenly come to me. I know it's like a miracle, but that thing takes the largest portion of my brain! Like now I'm doing the election process via my fac (SOC). It hasnt been a real one, but I keep hoping! And I tell you it's not a false hoping. It starts when Mingli herself recommended me to Yeehan (the only one nussu exco running for president *at least that i know), then that Yeehan offer me a position as Asst.Publicity Director in the upcoming 30th NUSSU Exco. Then he said that there's nothing to be worried about coz they will try to "put me in". Then I asked Runyan for recommendation also, and he was like said the same thing as "put you in". I, myself, never thinking to be part of NUSSU exco. I've been told since last year that the positions only available for Singaporeans etc, and also the ones that sit there are highly qualified to be student leader, I dont think myself as one. But now, when the offer came, I still keep hoping and dreaming. How it weel feel to be in the highest council in NUS, how the recognition of myself will finally come etc...Btw, less than 2 hours I'll be having my first interview to become NUSSU rep from SOC...wish me luck...

It's so frustated that you cannot help but just hoping and dreaming. Know that you cannot do anything else except waiting the destiny to choose you....

The third burden is my NOC application. It's so complicated that I wanna give in halfway....but I keep struggling! And even now I havent finished my essay and personal statement (2 of them almost done though). I already got recommendations that I want and the rest of it....But still I'm not confident if I can pass the screening process. I really2 wanna go NOC! It's the best thing that I can get in my third year.....even better than SEP, and very enriching also...

The fourth one is my CCAs...keep thinking whether I can stay on campus next year. My focus is only to NUSSU Exco thingy so I missed the deadline for some CCAs that I've planned to join, like soccer and bizcom hahaha....btw, tomorrow I'm gonna have my Exco interview for NUSSU Welfare...hope that I can position that I want. And I thanked Caroline for drag me in to NuStudio hehe...

The fifth one is the fasting month...I know that as Moslem I should be happy, but the things is I havent paid the last year one...so now here I am...fasting without sahur...so hungry!!

The sixth one is my tuition. It keeps burdening me...truthfully I'm not in a urgent need of money, so why I teach tuition anyway? Shit, it feels like I'm wasting my time to go there and teach sec student...but after I come there, I enjoyed the tuition. I love sharing my knowledge *plus getting paid for that*, at the end of the day, after I finished the tuition, I feel really2 satisfied with myself! Quite weird rite...u upset but then u satisfied with it...

Ok, thats all first...It's just my week 2 but things cannot be more complicated for me. September please come quickly, so I can stop hoping (after become exco or non-exco is finalised, after i can catch up all my lectures etc)...