Winteru no Kokoro

Nemu 'kerjaan' abis ngiter2 blog tmen gw...let's see

1.A cell phone. (yah walopun butut, ud 2 taun ga dganti)
2. A hair straightener. (only use twice/thrice..)
3.Your own computer. (isnt it a must?)
4. Your own car. (damn...i'll buy one for sure)
5.Chanel/Dior/Gucci sun[glasses].
6. A designer purse.
7. A boyfriend/girlfriend.
8. A curling iron.
9.Every Fall Out Boy CD.
10.Something from American Eagle.
11.Something from Hot Topic.
12.Something from Hollister.
13. Something from Abercrombie.
14. A pet.
15.Some type of trophy/award.
16. Full/Queen-size bed. (dorm sux, only give us single size)
17. King-size bed.
18. An iPod.
19.Something from a professional team.
20.Ever had more than £100 at a time. (iyalah haiz)
21. Monster, Full Throttle, Amp, Red Bull, etc. in your fridge.
22. Something Green Day.
23. Xanga.
24. Myspace.
25. Makeup.
26. A desk in your room.
27. A hill in your backyard. (I even got 'forest' sia)
28. DDR.
29. A pair of skis.
30. An alarm clock.
31. A pair of ice skates. (love my bauer :D)
32. Rollerblades.
33. A treadmill.
34. Your own phone line. (used to haha)
35. AIM.
36. Yahoo!
37. MSN.
38. ICQ.
39. AOL.
40. Perfume/cologne.
41. Bath lotion.
42. Necklaces and bracelets.
43. A journal/diary.
44. Yogurt and peaches in your fridge.
45. X’s in your screen name.
46. A birthday in September.
47. A famous relative.
48. A relative in a different state/province.
49. A disowned relative.
50. A relative that lives in Florida.
51. Your own bathroom.
52. Your own band.
53. Any rock band shirts.
54. A guitar. - eBaying, though.
55. A hammock.
56. A basketball hoop.
57. A soccer net.
58. A bike.
59. An electric scooter.
60. A minivan.
61. A V.C. Andrews book.
62.A friend that does drugs/alcohol/smokes. (only alcohol & smokes)
63. A locker at school.
64. A baby.
65. Sparkly blue nail polish.
66. A “Vote for Pedro” shirt.
67. The movie “40 Year Old Virgin”.
68. A promise ring.
69. A pool table.
70. A swimming pool/hot tub.
71. Trampoline.
72. Livejournal.
73. Flip flops.
74. Steve Madden shoes.
75. The Sims 3.
76. A ping pong table.
77. An air hockey table.
78. A basement.
79. Converses.
80. Construction paper.
81. Markers, crayons, etc..
82. Coloring books.
83. A nice singing voice.
84. GameCube.
85. Xbox.
86. Playstation.
87. PS2.
88. PSP.
89. Some type of disease. (mental one, like seriously :p)
90. Rose Red movie.
91.VCR/DVD player.
92.A mom or dad.
93. An older brother.
94.An older sister.
95. A younger brother.
96. A younger sister.
97. A twin
98. A sled.
99. A lake/pond/river/ocean near your house.
100. Friends who like you. (lets be optimistic)

haha now i realize i dont own a lot of things...what a simple life :)

Lately I've been complaining a lot about relationship matter. Not the kind of love relationship or normal friendship that may across your mind at first, it's more like the kind of 'friends' that are potential for business partners. What I complaint a lot lately is my lack of companionship when it comes to face challenges and try out new things. And the limit of my circle of friend in term of 'helping' me in future career.

I've been always thinking that my 'circle' of acquaintances are quite small, they're either from NUS indons, 8 alumni, NUSSU friends, course friends and Credit Suisse peeps. So in short, they're from my age (have not become 'somebody' yet, same as me) so in other words, though you can learn some, but not much....(as in in term of career experience, this post dedicated for my future career paths anyway). I envy Suang much in this case. She knows a lot of successful people who share a lot of their experiences with her and has good network in that sense. Me leh? Almost nobody except from my days in CS.

But then I realize...I know much more friends back in Indonesia, from high sch, mid schl etc. And a lot of them are activists, achievers-kind of type and have wide connections. Hmm...come to think of it, knowing people only from your age doesnt necessarily a disadvantage, it's how you take the chance and create some opportunity out of it. I believe a lot of them are driven individuals as well, who has passion for creating ideas and taking actions for better Indonesia as well.

I may sound like a very ambitious person, but then my drive is the only thing that differentiate me from the rest. So what I need to do is to catch up with them^^. Tap into an unpredictable but very potential circles. Yay. I'm so glad I still have them. From here I realize that everyone has equal opportunity in life, it just the successful person see it and turn it into their benefit while the rest didn't. Hopefully I can succeed in life..Amin..

Things have gone out of my control lately and hate these!

1. I never think that life without CCA would be this boring. simply dont have motivation to study...being idle for quite some times can turn off your motivation to do everything T_T, everyday just want to lazying around...very2 unproductive. I even dont care anymore about assignments and all

2. Realizing that all people targeting banking jobs are more qualified than me sigh...how should I compete with them how should I? Not that I feel inferior, but the fact that this year I'm letting go my chance of interning in FO of bulge brackets for NOC left me wondering whether this is a better choice...especially when the market has just rebounded and all jobs openings are mushrooming now...

3. And on top of those things, I cant find any corporate finance related start-ups in Stockholm....should I just give up and end up in some IT start-ups?...My biggest fear now is that I'll just travel miles miles away to Sweden just to do another programming task....zzz...really2 not worth it if that's the case. My true purpose is to improve my soft skills, widen my networks and improve my CV...then if I'm just spending the whole year sitting in fron of computer doing programming, what would be the point? shit..very afraid thinking of that possibility...

and another consequence of being idle and unproductive, my mind keep wandering around and without I realize I keep thinking about him. reading a lot of relationship articles and stuff, memorizing past moments etc...how come I could be that melancholic..come to think of it, it's just not me and I hope it will never be part of myself. but I know people change, him, me, everyone else etc. so there's no point hoping we could go back to the past. let him do whatever he wants, just never turn up in front of me again because I know I would keep remembering the pasts if I meet him...

another thing...I hate fake people who pretend to care about something just because everybody cares about it. Damn fake. Yes I know I'm selfish, I'm very selfish just because I mind my own business. At least I admit that I dont give a shit to other people's business unless they're somewhat special in my life.

Do people change or is it just me looking for totally different angle?

If I could choose the happiest moment since I entered NUS, today would be the day : NUSSU RAG 2009!

Rag day is a competition where 11 faculties and 6 halls in NUS come together and present float and performance. The day is so dynamic where people are damn high and tirelessly cheering for their faculties/halls.

I was in the NUSSU Rag Comm, the one who's organizing the day. Told you, these 4 days I've been literally live in school (YIH), doing all the preparation for Rag. It was tiring, but after seeing today's enthusiasm from everyone, I know it's all worth it!

You should see the face of winning PBs (participating bodies : halls/faculties) when the MC announce their names. OMG. They are so happy, shouting here and there. I was brought into the emotion as well. I tried my best to not cry. Seeing they all happy after all 3 months of hardwork building floats and preparing the performance is very amazing. The fact that I'm heavily involved in the judging process makes me even more excited.

Rag day is the best event of NUS! where no other spore university can copy our tradition! where every faculties and halls come together and tried their best! such big event, even by watching you can feel their spirit.

I am so happy today! I love Rag!

But I'm also sad. Because along with the end of the event, I cant longer be in the committee. Rag 2009 committee is the best exco that I entered. I love all the people. I love them!

I love rag!

finally last day at CS..
less than one hour will have presentation...dunno why I'm so nervous. maybe bcoz I'm presenting to Angmohs who have perfect English..

Rabbi syahrill sodri wayasirli amri, wahluudatam ilisani yaf qaqauli...
"Ya Allah, lancarkanlah urusanku dan hilangkanlah kekakuan dari lidahku, agar mereka mengerti perkataanku. Amin"

After this presentation, I'll be damn relieved.........but it's 2 hour later...........now I'm damn nervous damn nervous...actually it's just normal presentation and nothing to be feared about. But just that....I dunno why I'm so scaredddd

I'll just leave this blog open, until I fnish my presentation. And see how it goes

OK. I'm counting down...now it's 9.24....means like abt 40 mins later it's gonna start...and the presentation itself will last around 20 mins, less Q&A session and other delay....so abt 1.5hr later I'll be freeeeeee. Then have to arrange my speech for afternoon presentation as well

Ok...I have just finished my presentation. Dunno why, but I'm so satisfied with it. Hoaaaa...seriously...dunno why but I really appreciate Mike, Tony, Forrest and Patrick for the moments. Seriously when I'm writing this, my eyes are tearing...thinking that after this I may not get a chance to see them again T_T

CS and ORQ are the perfect combination for my summer....
wish I could still be here a little longerrr...longerr....longerr.....
a lot of handsome people (and directors), great view from the building, sort of expat life (mainly coz my managers are all caucasians, lunch with them, follow their lifestyle lol). Seriously I'll not forget this moment. How I spent night at ORQ doing some sort of OT-ing. You got to know how does that feel. Very quiet. Very peaceful. and very relaxing.

And I'm sure that I'm gonna miss a lot of thing from this thing called short corporate life. Will miss the special scent of ORQ building. Will miss those Spinelli coffee in the morning. Will miss those Subway cookies as dinner. Will miss ORQ at night. Will miss taking 10 bus in the morning. Will miss wearing cool office attire (yes, I love my office attires lol). Will miss this computer and desk (I sit near the window which has great view of Raffles Place). and certainly will miss those Angmohs that I spent most of time with :)

Lalala~ I'm so relieved now. relieved and dont care what will happen later.

I got like 2 hours to spend before leaving for ORL. 30 mins bfore leaving for final presentation T_T *I'm still counting down to something coz practically I got no work left today..so for the last 30 minutes in this desk, I'll just crap around.

So sad that I cant meet Eddi again. He's on night shift, and only come after 3 while I'll be leaving at 2. Last night will be the last time I saw him during this internship program. But hopefully it won't take long time before I see him again (at least I could go ORQ for dinner or sth haha)

I've been waiting for this time (last day) when I was in the first few weeks of internship. But now when the time comes, I got mixed feeling. Relieved and happy since I got no responsibilities anymore. But at the same time, sad, because I'm already getting used to this life. I like working at Raffles Place, @ORQ specially, where you got the feeling of elitism :) haha, I know that I may sound quite arrogant, but it certainly how I felt.

Btw, I haven't prepared for my afternoon presentation. I'm just too worried about the morning's presentation. But since I got only 1 slide to present. I think it's OK. I've finished my Spinelli, gotta buy one more downstairs later. And I'm thinking to join fitness first. Just to be back to here again (and perhaps meeting him, I know he is gyming after work all this time )...haha i sound very obssessed with ORQ.

Hm...this is the really last night.

What makes me scared is tomorrow. Got to present a proper presentation for my bosses...
Huaaa...if only I got nothing tomorrow...will be much better, but then if anything goes wrong, I only have to face Mike for another 2 hours

OMG. It's really sad and frustrating at same time...

Maybe it's the last time I post from Credit Suisse computer. This friday, which is the day after tomorrow, my summer internship will end. I know for sure that I'll miss time like this.

Quiet night time at ORQ. I feel very peaceful.
I don't know how long it'll take until I could get the same feeling as this again. The city life. Feeling of a life of banker. Feeling of businesswoman.

That's why I often take overtime hours though I have finished my work portion of the day. Easting Subway while watching sunset at marina barrage, slurping Spinelli coffee to stay focused.

I know I'll miss these things. I'll miss the good-looking guys in my row. Miss Mike's "cheers" tone when he's answering call. Miss the treat at Harry's. Miss this temporary 'expat' life. Miss Brandon. Miss the intern fellows. Miss emailing and calling people all across Asia. Miss travelling time to time between ORQ and ORL (not mising Changi though). Will miss those great people that I met during this internship.

Really, it is the best summer I've ever had. Got the fun, as well as the experiences. Got the money, prestige and eye-opener moments. Discovered my real passion.

I know when I leave this company, I might not have a chance to meet all those guys anymore. Mike's going to London this Sep. Patrick's going to UK as well for holiday. Chen Hao's going Canada. And the rest will continue their lives, and I'm losing contacts with them.

I really like ORQ@nite. When most people have already gone home, leaving the office empty. I feel very worried, fear that I might not have a chance to feel the same situation anymore.

*oops the cute guy sit near me just go back to the office, lose focus for a while*

I just want to feel this a little longer. Before I leave CS and not have access anymore. Though I'm scared of the presentations on Friday, though I know I have to do something for my CCAs, but I just want to feel this feeling a little longer....

My last chance is tomorrow. Tomorrow is the very last night I could spend in ORQ, before returning my pass to the security officers.

I only hope that someday in near future. I could be back to here and feeling much better than now. Older and wiser. Richer and get better position.

Ah...I'm feeling very emo. Seriously, if I could pick one best moment during my internship, it'd be this one, followed by my meeting with Brandon lol.

Dunno what to say anymore~~ Soon I will miss ORQ for sure

Melancholy mode : on.

I don't know why suddenly I miss him so much. Maybe because of some people who really annoyed me last night. I just realize, though it might be not true, that I feel much better when I'm with him, be it at the meeting or anywhere else. Feeling that he will always back me up.

I know that I can't articulate my ideas well (something that I super hate from myself), but I wonder how he always comes up with similar ideas, just that he's better in conveying them.

I feel like nobody hears me. Just miss him. I'm not saying that he has feeling for me or I have one for him, just that it's myself that feels much better with him around, knowing that someone totally listen what I have to say.

I know it isn't good. Because more and more I depend on him, I know I'll have to break my principal one day.

Melancholy mode : off.

Like the hell I care about opinion of such losers. What on earth have they achieved? Not rich, not handsome, not a child of prominent people, not score well, insensitive about woman, seriously take everything, just big-heads.

I don't like losers. They're just opposite of Brandon Edwards (simply super handsome, rich (IB dir in CS), clever (double degree biz-law) but unfortunately, not single T_T)

After reading Xiaxue's blog, http://xiaxue.blogspot.com/2003/05/today-i-am-gonna-write-abt-all-molest.html, about molesting, I just thought that I should blog about it also. haha.

Although I have never experienced such extreme case like her (and some other readers) but I often get this kind of DISGUSTING looks from DISGUSTING MEN. I repeat, I never get molested physically and I wish I won't! But sometimes I got this another form of harrasment which is visual molestation. You know, the perverted look that you can guess what he's thinking about you. Yucks!

I always wonder why men are designed like that, why they have to relate everything to sex, I really can't understand that part. And why some men assume that I will EVER think the same way. Come on, just because we exchange looks, WHICH IS ALWAYS COINCIDENTALLY (argh, why my eyes keeps wondering around wherever I am, always look around etc that'w why I often exchange looks with strangers, must be genetics I guess) it doesn't mean that I have special feeling for you. Yucks! Just thinking that they're thinking about me is kinda giving me some disgust.

Not to mention those OB (orang bangla), but one cleaning service in my office. OMG! Yucks yucks yucks! The only terrible thing of my fantastic internship experience will be this yucks yucks. Actually I'm sitting near all those good looking guys (3 angmohs and 1 hot filipino guy haha) but this cleaner often show up in my floor and always look at me. I know he purposely wandering around my desk to destroy my concentration, going here and there with chin up like he's CEO, taking longer time when he's cleaning my bin and talk to the hot guys sitting near me just to be around my desk (like i wish that?! come on dont spoil my best moment with the hotties!).

I'm just trying to be honest here. Frankly speaking, he's short, not good looking, not hot at all, not rich and not lucky also I guess (if not maybe he can pursue higher education). And some more I got my serious crush already so (I really want to avoid talking about social class here) there's no way I could (or INTEND) give him second look. I wish I can show him my together-moment with my crush so that he get to big picture of everything haha. So please stop spoil the best moments of my summer period. ORQ is really the best place to work at, just that maybe they need to teach the cleaners NOT TRY to flirt with interns. Yucks. OK, I just waste my time writing about it here.

For other these kind of disgusting looks from strangers, I sometimes find it in public transportation like bus or mrt. I always avoid MRT wherever possible (since I can save money also) cause I just hate crowded places, but I have to take bus to go everywhere of course.

Come to think about it, since I live near science park, there are some bus services that I use to take : 10, 30, 51, 143 and 188. I always prefer 10 than the rest because I find its passengers are in the sense "cleaner". Service 10 starts from Kent Ridge terminal and go along Pasir Panjang Road (around 10 busstops from my place). So usually, when I get in they're only "clean" people there (as KR is still considered NUS and pasir panjang neigborhood is quite an elite one, and they will mostly go to CBD which is quite an elite workplace itself). I rarely find any OB or some perverted uncle there (thanks God that I need to take only bus 10 to my office now).

In contrast, I try to avoid services 30, 51 and 143, especially 30. This service starts from Boonlay which is err......not so clean perhaps? and go through Jurong East there where the last time I go there, I found a lot of OB there. Service 51 and 143 also starts from Jurong East. Why I avoid these services? Because usually there'll be a lot of people inside the bus already before I get in and not rarely I found some potential-to-be-visual-molesters there. So rather than having uncomfortable 30-50 mins bus rides, struggling to avoid those nasty looks, wait for other services is better I guess.

So in general I try to avoid place like Jurong East, Boonlay cause a lot of OB hanging around there. Not that I'm racist. Just that it's common perception in Singapore that they always have these perverted thoughts and keep trying to molest girls in every chance. Just disgusting.

Why men cant think like women? We may be quite emotional sometimes or overwhelmed by feelings, but we NEVER imagine having sex or some other perverted thoughts to strangers! Now that I'm mature enough (17) I start to understand why my friends (which is older) thought that I'm weird when I told them that boyfriends are only the 'special' ones that we ask to accompany us to shopping malls, cinemas etc. Now I know that they wouldn't think the same way to us. I just 'learn' this kind of thing recently--after too much reading of some blogs lol

Advice for some guys. So guys, get real! Some women will never be yours so just forget her!

I must really thank God for giving me a chance to intern at Credit Suisse. I must say, unlike my previous internship that is very tiring and stressful, this one is much much better.

Ok, as part of our internship program, there was this project called Meeting MD/Dir project where interns must 'interview' 10 senior directors of the company. So far my group, Apurva, Vinod, Priyanka and Chen Hao, has met 4 directors. We find the sessions were really inspiring!

Of all 4 directors that we've met, they all have very different personalities and career paths. The first director we met was Jason Forrester, British, MD for Operation Risk Management. He is very cool and organized. He explain to us systematically on what his department is about, what he does in normal day and how he can make it to the top. He even prepared slides for us, *he's the only one doing that. He know what he's talking and we got useful info on how to plan your career in a bank but it's confidential.

The next guy, I would say, the most interesting of all four, he's our favorite. His name is Tom Gillie, American, a forex options trader. He came unprepared and just finish his coffee. My first impression of him was like, this guy is really slacking, messy and unfocused. He gives us impression that he was such a nerd who only do trading and trading. BUT! After he talked, woah, we can really tell his passion toward his job. Though he jumps from one topic to another, he spilled out a lot of things (also cursing CS' eternal competitor, UBS lol). The things are also confidential (haha, I'm just too lazy to write). Then he showed us how to do transaction. He got 11 monitors for himself, a lot of them I don't know for what although he kept explaining to us (we just nod nod without knowing what delta, gamma etc etc are). But he really cool! And honestly I like the atmosphere in his department. Everyone is so friendly. When we want to take picture, they immediately posing lol. Btw, it's the first real trading floor that I have ever visited in my life haha. Overall, Tom rocks!

Next guy is called Johannes Oeni, Head of South East Asia Private Banking. As you can guess from his name, he's Indonesian (that's why I chose him). He's very busy so we only spent 30 minutes with hime (the rest is like 1 hr plus). But we know he's very friendly and charismatic. He also gave us some advice on how to be a good private banker. Again, confidential of course lol. I wish he was not busy and we could talk more..

Last one is called Leong Clinton. We dont know where he came from but obviously not Hongkong cause he denied it already. This was our longest interview, 1.5hrs. He talked all the way, from his work experience and how he moved from one office to another. But the part that is very inspiring for us was when talked about us how he built his career. He gave some great advices too, and a lot of spoiler of how bank actually works. One thing that I can spill to you, he said 'Dont ever trade opportunity with money'. Yes Leong, I didn't, don't and hopefully won't!

This four guys were really inspiring for us. Through them we got a clearer view on how things work and don't work, how to create your own path of success etc etc. I never regret that I met them. Hopefully the next 6 will be as inspiring! Later I'll update this blog, directors that we want to meet next is of course from IB, IT, if possible Research, Product and Legal Compliance...and more banker and trader please^^

It's my third week interning at Credit Suisse. Hmm, so far so good. The work is do-able, but quite boring actually haha. My boss is a very good guy, quite handsome *though qt old alrd, 30?* and funny. What I like from the internship program is not only the CS' big name and the people (whomever I met so far has been very nice), but also the program itself.

Initially I thought that what we'll be doing is just sitting at desk and do some menial tasks, but in fact they dont make us to do that. Instead, we'll have this not-desk-related activities such as charity day, networking sessions, female mentorship program, finance awareness forum and interview with directors where we can learn more about how CS operated and how it is to work at CS.

Last week, and next week I'll be back to One Raffles Quay. These 2 weeks I am reallocated to One Raffles Link office (the one just beside Marina Square, in front of Merrill Lynch building, the south part of Goldman Sachs). Half of my time I've been idling since the data that we are all waiting for hasn't been passed to us from finance dept. So this week I've spent my days with reading news and learning about finance thingy.

I dont know other firms, but CS has their own business school, basically to teach the new employee on how the financial market works, because not all of us have finance background. They also have this online e-learning about various topics in finance which I found very addictive for me lolz. I've given up career in finance one year before when I think I'd pursue my dream to become an entrepreneur and have my own IT firm. But now, after working with CS, I really2 want to try to be a banker! Although I'm now in IT division, but I realize I have more passion to become a trader.

Now I've set my next summer goal : interning with a bulge bracket in their front office in Europe. Hopefully I can complete my current internship with good remark so that they can refer me to CS Zurich or London or Frankfurt maybe? Most of the front office of IB is either in Europe or US and they are the most hard-to-get job. Though some people believe that finance empire has broke, I am not. Given the amount of money involved in it, there's no slight chance that people could operate their business without help of banks. And I believe the banking industry will bounce back in the next 3 yrs (when I'll be graduating yay).

I have 7.5 weeks to go. Hopefully I can egt the most out of my internship. Amin

Reading other's blog has been an inspiring activity for me. I keep reflecting their thoughts with myself. What I have achieved? What I want to achieve? How can I be a better person? How should I plan my life ahead?

Inspired by my senior's blog, I keep myself to make a full use of the chance I got. Usually I feel unchallenged after I got what I want. I let my motivation down and did not give my best. I regret what I cannot utilize in the past, and at this time. But I feel very grateful that there are still many things lie ahead of me, there's still many big chances that I can make use to improve myself.

I always regret how I cant make my junior and senior highschool meaningful enough. During that time, I only concentrated on one thing: study. What I did not realize was that the purpose of my parents 'put' me there: gain friends and build networks. My schools, objectively, are the perfect places to build your networks at early age you know? A lot of elite's children go there and as for my high school, intellectual people and future leaders are groomed there.

Why couldnt I make use of those opportunities? Why I limit myself only to my comfort zone? Why I exchange knowledge and experience only for meaningless entertainment? Why I dont like forcing my brain to think!

Another thing that I regret is that I cant utilize my free time effectively enough. Like I always o shopping when I got time : one thing that I hate (and love) by being a girl! Silly girl who keeps wasting her time for meaningless stuff. Typical girl who sometimes search for the next branded handbag she should buy. I sometimes regret this. If only I'm a guy, I should not have 'wasted' my time that way. I could use that precious time for something else; like some of my friends are now trading stocks or thinking of business plans. If only I'm a guy then I dont have to 'waste' my money buying some new clothes or makeups every month just because I'm boring with my current wardrobe.

Ah...but I am also grateful that I'm born a girl. But I still prefer to be a guy though...

Another thing that I regret is that during my time serving NUS Students' Union, I cant bring anything meaningful to the students. What I do was simply doing the normal 'job' stated in the jobscopes lol. I never really brought up an initiative that will benefit students. Ah, I'm so shamed of myself. Though it's my another big chance, but I cannot utilize it at all. Though I'm at the position who can brings improvement for the community, I didn't.

Alhamdulillah I got 2 big chances in my near future. First, the internship with CreditSuisse, one of the top investment bank, private bank and wealth management assets in the world. And my NOC, an NUS program dedicated for students who want to become future entrepreneurs. Both of them are magnificent chances that only Allah can bring to my life.

I will be working as intern at CreditSuisse technology division this summer, in the Technology Infrastructure Service (TIS) team. I'm really looking forward to it since I'll be working at the-coolest-building-of-my-version-in-singapore-CBD which is One Raffles Quay, with a bank somemore. It's like a perfect first step to my dream job. Hopefully I can use the opportunity to improve my understanding in financial world as well as keeping myself update with the latest technology development. And build networks also. Hopefully I can build a good relationship with my bosses and colleague!

I am so excited, and worried as well, cause my past work experience is not so good, mainly because I am not so good in programming and I am so careless. It's been a painful yet meaningful experience. Now I can only ive my best and leace the result to Allah.

Ganbatte ne!

Terinspirasi dr blog-nya Lisa. Gw jadi malu sendiri with myself. Though I've been given with sooo many grace, but I seldom thank Allah.

I dont want to blame Singapore which make me less and less religious each day. Though I never skipped sholat (so far) but I often jama' them though there's no special occasion.. And I never touched Koran here you now! I never read it. I'm too busy running after the fana thingy that I forget about my religion T_T! I am so dead now. Feel very guilty. Though I always remember Him whenever I want to achieve something or get something but my feelings are not...

Ya Allah, maafkanlah hambaMu ini yang selalu sok sibuk dalam mengejar hal duniawi dan tidak punya waktu untuk mengingatMu....

Feeling guilty rite now..........

Yep, week 11 alrd! 2 more weeks bfore final exam, 5 more weeks bfore my intern starts. Yatta!
These 2 weeks I'll be quite slack cause I finished all project, leaving only 2 labs, 1 pres and 1 late midterm test lalala~

Thinking of going back Indo next week, cause I'll get no time to go back during summer. Hmm...but still waiting for Credit Suisse to send me the contract first.

Ok, dunno what to write. I should be studying rite now, preparing for final exam which is only 3 wks away...or do my lab which is due this friday but....well, slacking off is better haha (i've been like this since sunday....doing practically nothing productive). Huaa!! Study la study! Pull up your cap!

I'm waiting for another challenge. Hmm. rite now I'm getting bored again hoahmm.

OK, for the time being what I'll do is to improve my skills. Whether by studying or getting more experience that I never done bfore. Hopefully my intern life will be enriching as well. Still dunno what I'm gonna do there, but they told me it'll involve liaising with clients in HK...hmmm...ok hopefully I can perform up to their standards. Still cant believe I'm offered a place there, though it's very competitive. Cant believe my luck!

I'm so damn lucky throughout my life. Sometimes I'm getting scared of myself too. Like my NUS admission, NUSSU Exco election, NOC intake and CreditSuisse offer. Those are some things that I'll never get unless I'm damn lucky. I'm scared that will all those things in future I have to pay a price...scared scared

Target for this summer: lose weight haha, driving my own car, and if possible watch Arashi concert in Tokyo.

It's been very looong time I didn't get a chance to update this blog. Partly that's because that I'm somewhat forgot that I once and still have a blog! lol. OK, many many updates that I havent put up yet.

Ok, lets start with modules *as always*. I am currently taking six modules, which is lesser than last sem. Why? Coz I scored quite badly last sem (1 A, 2B+, 3B!, shit la, worst ever) and I dont want to do the same this sem, so I decided to decrease my workload. So here I am, taking 4 computing modules (networking, operating system, information system and communication) and 2 biz module (econs and business law). The workloads are somewhat slacker, but I alrd determined to give my best for this sem, so I tried to catch up all modules in the recent recess week. Personally I believe that I'll do much better than last sem, with the condition that the theory of effort is proportional with score holds of course. (but still, though the day aft tmrw i'll be having 2 midterms, i'm still blogging zz zz) yosh!

Next update from NUSSU Exco thingy. Hmm...things arent going like I expected. I feel that I dont really get along with them...I really believe it's because of my English! I never expect that your inability to communicate in a language will bring such effect. But ya, it really brings your confidence level down, especially when you have to face those with superior leadership and communication skills...it's not that my English is that bad, but sometimes I find it hard to articulate my words well.. T_T.

But anyway, early in this year, I, with exco peeps. went to Australia to visit several university. IT WAS SUCH A GREAT EXPERIENCE! Though I'm not that comfortable with them, but Australia really cures my incomfortness haha. It was such a great place to live in! Much better than this little tiny Singapore hahaha..So we went to Brisbance, Gold Coast, Sydney and Melbourne. A lot of things happened there, memorable ones. I love all those cities, esp Sydney! Whoaa, a lot of shops manz! Piccadily, QVB, Paddy's Market etc etc. It's unfortunate that I didn't buy a lot of clothes T_T. Oh y, one more thing. Though it was summer when we went there, the breeze was so cold! I cannot tahan it...I am still a tropical person I guess.

What's more y? Hmm. Last sem I applied for NOC rite (this programme that have internship opportunity and exchange combined, abroad) to Silicon Valley. I got rejected on the first round. But fortunately I applied again this sem. An you know what! I GOT ACCEPTED^^. They only announce it like two weeks ago. So, next year I'll not going US, but Sweden instead Yay! Europe, wait for me ya!

Personally, *and commonly, I think that NOC is far way better than exchange. Coz? Besides studying, you will get a chance to do intern with startup company there. It's really a good opportunity with someone who want to have their own companies in the future. They not only teach you the basic theory of founding a company, but also provide you with a good practical experience, once again I said, overseas haha! So next next summer I'll find myself travelling around Europe. Amin!

More updates? Hmm....last week I got called for interviews for this summer internship. One with CreditSuisse, the other with Deloitte. I know. They're such big companies. I myself didn't expect that I'd be calles by them. But Alhamdulillah I got called. They will announce the result this week or next week. Please pray for me that I can get either one of them. Amin. ya Allah, please give me the best...

Ok la, that's all. Now, get back to mugging