Winteru no Kokoro

Been thinking about my personal motto a lot and this one really stick to me...since dunno when.

"I may be ignorant but I am no hypocrite"

Well, ignorant in the sense that I don't give a damn about things that do not interest me. Like, global warming, carbon footprint etc. Well yeah I know that it's really needed for sustainable future bla bla bla, but I just can't bring myself caring about those, even though everybody talking about it.

And as far as I knew I am no hypocrite. Sometimes people say that whatever emotion I have, it'll be shown right in my face haha, so how could I be hypocrite lolz? and hypocrite just doesnt match with my horoscope, Sagitarius (doh, what a bad reasoning).

Yeah anyway..i'm no hypocrite. if u think otherwise, write comment! haha

Typical question for late teenagers, isn't it? But lately it keeps bugging me, you know, the period when you really think what you should do and what you wanna do in the future.

I'm 18, only 18 or already 18? OK, actually whenever I talk to people they never expect me to be 18, which is great I guess, since that means I'm more mature than normal 18 haha.

I don't know who I wanna be in the future, though I might have some vague picture. I know I wanna be businesswoman, the REAL businesswoman, not just a worker working 9-6 with standard salary with routine and boring tasks. For now I wanna be either investment banker, or entrepreneur. Those 2 seems contradict to each other, one is slave, working 100 hours/week and the other is the "boss" in its own right. My long term goal is to be the latter for sure, but in the early years of my career, 5-10 years, I believe IB would be a perfect choice.

I don't deny that I am running for IB because of its reputation. It's hard to break into, work damn looong hours etc etc. But hey, I always love challenges. And I know I want to work there. Not because of money (its hourly salary actually pays less than McD) but because of the networks that you could get there. OK, what job that allows you, since your first year, at the bottom of corporate ladder, to meet CEOs, BODs or any other executive management of big companies, handle their main decisions? IB. or consultant, fine. Networks of great businessmen, exposed at the early years of your career, wouldn't hurt I guess :)

And what's more is its own reputation. There are 3 kind of jobs based on my opinion for college graduate. IB, normal average Joe, entrepreneur. First one, work super long hours, life only for working, making really big bucks. Second one, earn average, always waiting for weekend, normal life. Entrepreneur is too wide to be generalized...but u know, u get it.

What I know for sure, I don't wanna be average Joe. Well, I know their work-life balance is better than the rest (entrepreneur cant even differentiate private vs work), but hey, screw work-life balance. In this world if you wanna achieve something, you have to sacrifice. And in order to achieve my success, I dont care abt work-life balance.

Come to think of it. In this world, I hate to be average. At least in my circle of friends, I always try to be different from them, because what I fear most is not becoming the worst, but becoming the same as the rest, you know, becoming the average. That's why in Sweden, when I heard that the high-achiever students are not getting anything, in fact they have to "wait" for the rest to catch up with them, I really hate it. What's being lagom thing?? Lagom means "not too much, not to less" or in other word, average. Swedish people in general love to be average.Well yeah, with socialist government for decades you cant blame them. But yeah, I just dont like it.

Come back to my problem...yeah, I just hate to be "the middle class". Well in Indo there's no real middle class I guess. Only super rich, a bit rich, a bit poor, super poor. And if you're working 9-6 with Indo salary, I'm sorry, but in my opinion you belong to the third category. This is for non-management position of course. The only occupation that can make you filthy rich in Indo is entrepreneur, provided you don't earn expat salary. What did I say again? Yeah no middle class.

I think I write enough, yeah. so that would be it.

Looking forward to Cote d'Azur and Spain!

OMG, I've been tooo slack with my start-up recently.
Have really start to talk to people, do more networking to get funding and more feedbacks.

Will meet with an outsourcing company next week who's potentially will build our product. Or if that fails, then I have no choice but to use freelancer. July is just too long and I might have lose my motivation by then.

SO my target...by summer, our product prototype must have been out already. then in August. start marketing crazizly!

Just booked tickets for my summer trip June-July.
Here's the first itinerary

24 June : 9pm, fly to London
25-26 June : London : Wimbledon, Financial district, London summer sale
27 June : 6am, fly to Pisa, transfer to Florence, Florence sightseeing, go to Viareggio at night
28-30 June : Viareggio, entrepreneurship conference
1 Apr : transfer to Pisa, Pisa sightseeing, fly to Amsterdam 2pm, Amsterdam sighseeing
2-3 Apr : Amsterdam sightseeing with Alda
4 Apr : Amsterdam sightseeing, 9pm fly to Nice
5-7 Apr : Nice, Monaco, Cannes
8 Apr : 8am, fly to Paris, Paris shopping
9 Apr :4pm, fly to Ibiza, Ibiza sightseeing
10-11 Apr : Ibiza party
...
...
after Ibiza, actually I plan to go to Madrid, Pamplona and Barcelona. lets see whether I still have the funds and energy to do so or not, if not then just go back to Stockholm, rest a bit then fly again :)

While I'm in Europe, I wanna do these:
1. See Bull Race festival in Pamplona
2. Partying at Ibiza
3. Watch tennis grand slam, either in Paris (French Open) or London (Wimbledon)
4. Going for termal spa in Budapest
5. Skiing in Swiss Alps
6. Snorkeling or jet-skiing in Gibraltar
7. Iceland hot springs (but considering the ash...hmmm)
8. Try Monaco casino
9. Participate in La Tomatina festival in Valencia
10. Enjoy Paris summer sale!
11. Go to Europe top financial district : London, Frankfurt and Zurich (paris done)
12. Island hopping in Greece
13. Kayaking in Elafiti Islands, near Dubrovnik, Croatia
14. Bungee jumping at Europabrücke Bridge, Austria
15. Skydiving (anywhere in Europe)

And exotic places to visit:
1. Morocco (though it's not europe, but no visa required there :)
2. Canary Island (more beaches)
3. Sarajevo (wanna know how ppl there, after the wars)
4. Malta (real Mediterranean country!)

And of course, the "must-visit" places to prove you've been in Europe, which are more boring and tourisy..
1. Berlin
2. Copenhagen
3. Brussels
4. Prague
5. Hamburg
6. Munich
7. Amsterdam

will update again

i miss him so much

wherever i go i always wish he was there too
i'm idiot
i hate this side of me
if only those never happened..